Like a lot of pastors these days, I read a number of blogs. I often find a post here or there to be helpful and/or encouraging, but I don’t think any have so quickly and powerfully caused me to weep as one did today. The Gospel Coalition blog linked to a blog by Greg Lucas in which he shares his reflections on the difficulty of fathering a special needs child.

I thank God for this brother’s suffering, his perseverance, and for him sharing that process with others. It lead me to fresh repentance; it led me to fresh faith in the undying love of our Father. Here’s a sample:

Almost daily I have to physically restrain my son. It is a physical battle to change his diaper and clean his body. Many times while cleaning and changing him I have been kicked in the face, bitten, smacked, clawed, or hit with flying objects. It is not all that uncommon to come away from a cleanup with a bloody lip or a new scratch. …

I must confess that on many mornings I leave Jake’s room dejected, hurt and emotionally drained. And many nights I find myself restraining the violent resistance of a struggling boy by wrapping him in my arms against his will and gently whispering, “I love you. I love you. I love you…no matter what.”

Most children are relational and have the ability to reciprocate affection. But what happens when the child cannot communicate love? … The only possible way to make any sense of this kind of relationship is to experience it through the truly unconditional love of God the Father. As I reflect on my seemingly one sided relationship with my son, I am forced to see how it is sometimes a portrait of my own relationship with God.

In the defiance of my son to be loved, cared for and washed clean, I am shown a portrait of the cross. The one-sided violence of love reveals a blurred vision of my own redemption, as a bloody, beaten, crucified Savior wraps me in His arms, subdues me with His affection and whispers in my ear, “I love you. I love you. I love you…no matter what.”

Other posts are equally as moving and gospel-focused. Read and weep.